Wisdom from Within
Welcome to The Wisdom from Within podcast, I am Jen Aks and this is where we access mindset and bodyset - connecting both so that we can create the genuine, authentic, impact in our own lives and the lives we serve.
We get there by having conversations with industry leaders, scientists, executives, parents, your neighbors. These are conversations that reveal the intelligence your body already holds—and my mission is to help you awaken, trust so you can let it lead you into your greatest success.
Wisdom from Within
Breaking the Patterns That Keep You Stuck | Ep 23
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Welcome to Wisdom From Within.
Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to trust everyone else’s answers more than our own.
This podcast is a reminder that you were born with extraordinary intelligence—far beyond IQ alone. Your body knows. Your emotions speak. Your intuition guides and your nervous system remembers.
Every week, we’ll explore the science, stories, and practices that reconnect you to yourself so you can lead, love, create, and live with greater clarity, courage, and trust.
Because the answers you’ve been searching for aren’t out there.
They’re already within you.
Jen Aks sits down with psychotherapist Lisanne Godnick for a deeply vulnerable conversation about healing shame, breaking old patterns, divorce, body image, forgiveness, and learning to reconnect with yourself.
Lisanne shares her own experiences—including losing 100 pounds and navigating divorce while working as a therapist—and how those experiences transformed the way she approaches healing.
💜
Quote: “Your past will inform your current state, but it doesn’t have to dictate your current state.”
Chapters:
04:30 – Your Past Doesn't Have to Define You
09:20 – Relationships, Divorce & Finding Your Voice
14:30 – Losing 100 Pounds & Uncovering the Shame Beneath
19:00 – Stop Chasing the “Why”
25:00 – Vulnerability, Divorce & Forgiving Yourself
30:30 – Giving Your Past Less Power
33:00 – You Don't Have to Stay Stuck
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🎵 Music by Max Lilivois @prd.maxxell
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I'm so excited to share Lisanne Godnik with you. She is a psychologist and therapist, and she focuses on individuals and couples and helping them restore their confidence and move through their relationships gracefully, not only in relationship, but individuals in relationship with themselves, how to heal and how to move through their life with ease. And something that I really love about this podcast episode is that Lisanne speaks from her heart. She shares her story around gaining weight and losing weight and that being a cycle and what her relationship was like to her body, to that internal voice and that constant back and forth and push and pull and what that journey was like. I think that's going to awaken a lot for so many of you. She also talks about her divorce and how that impacted her life and how it impacts her own leadership and how she mentors and leads couples into their own form of healing. So I'm really looking forward to you hearing this podcast and be sure to listen to the end, share a review, share it with the people that you love and the people that you might think would benefit from this message. I appreciate you. Let's get started. I would love for you to share what it means, what body intelligence means, and what how you've been in relationship with that and how it's really led you to where you are right now. And please begin um with your experience with this.
SPEAKER_05So um, you know, body experience. I've been I've been a psychotherapist in Manhattan for 40 years. And for me, the part of my body, the two parts of my body that actually have always been the key has been my brain and my heart, and three ears and my ears.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_05But when I met with you um and and spoke with you in this time too, and you had me basically put my hand on my heart and hit my hand on my stomach and close my eyes.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05What what became really clear to me, and I was surprised uh actually that this did happen, is that the noise quieted. And um that I began to sort of sit with things and and feel things the way they were right here and right now. And if it was uncomfortable, it was uncomfortable. If it was comfortable, it was comfortable, but that I didn't have to use my thoughts to move away from what I was feeling physically.
SPEAKER_02Wow, that happened so quickly. I mean, before we got on this, you know, and before we hit record, we did a little body set moment and you got there in that short amount of time. I I did. I did. That's incredible. How? What do you think was going on for you? And for those, I'm just gonna say for those that are listening, the body set position is hand on your heart, hand on your stomach, you close your eyes. It's really a quieting of the mind of the body to really set, to set yourself up to hear the wisdom from within. So that's what we're talking about. Okay, so go ahead.
SPEAKER_05But you know, along those lines, I I practice yoga and I practice meditation.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05And I don't usually have the same quiet experience that I did this time with you and the first time I spoke with you.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05And I think that speaks to the relationship.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_05And as a therapist, pretty much everything I do speaks to the relationship, whether it be one's relationship to oneself or one's relationship to the other.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05That that I think it has to do with connection and relating.
SPEAKER_02Do you think it has to do with trust?
SPEAKER_05I think trust is an enormous uh component of connection. And I think trust is much harder for certain people than other people's based based on a host of reasons, in large part their history and what they've been through and the relationships and the connections that they've had. That's one of the things I focus primarily on is trying to find a way to not have your past. Your past will inform your current state, but it doesn't have to dictate your current state.
SPEAKER_02Right. Right. Well, that's part of what this work is all about. That body intelligence partly comes from our experiences growing up and hearing the wisdom and the lessons we're meant to learn. And the body intelligence, for me, I see it as an entity that was within us when we were in the womb. You know, it's there, it's spiritual, it's source, it's God, it's whatever people want to call it. So it's this combination of intelligence that collects through time. So yeah, I agree with you. We don't, we're not our past. It can inform us of who we are. So, how do we listen to it with trust uh without feeling like we're that? Because if we're dealing with trauma, we don't want to attach to our trauma and say, Oh, that's who I am, instead, find the nuggets of intelligence within the experience. So, how do you how do you do that?
SPEAKER_05And we don't want to pretend there wasn't trauma. What we want to do is find a balance somewhere in the middle, yeah. Um, because I believe that when we when we try to move away from things constantly, we just push them down, push them down, and push them down, right? And they come up in a host of different ways rather than saying this happened all of it, right? And it doesn't have to be happening now, right? And I didn't cause it to happen.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05And when you when you incorporate that concept into things, I didn't cause the other person's issues and trauma that was imposed upon you, it's extremely liberating because you get to say, wow, I don't I don't have to be on that leash forever.
SPEAKER_02Right, exactly. How do you help people um have a relationship with their past without reliving their past?
SPEAKER_05One of the things that I do is I have I have an intense experience with my patient about their past. Doesn't mean that we spend every session talking about a mother and a father. Absolutely not, because I I believe that the most important thing is the here and now.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05But we have to understand where we came from in order to understand where we're going and in order in order to go to a new place.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05We want to change the address. We don't want to go back home all the time. Even if there were lovely things about home, we want to build a new home. So we do so by understanding the feelings, by talking about the pain, by talking about the love, by talking about the fear, by recognizing that one of the ways we stay connected to our past, because we don't want to let it go, because it was such a huge part of us, is by repeating the same behavior in our current relationships. It keeps us connected to the trauma and the past. And it's like it's like being in quicksand, you're not moving at all. So it has to also do with a grieving and a giving up and a mourning and saying, There were things I loved about you, but goodbye because it's too painful to stay there.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. So in order to get out of the pattern, we have to recognize the pattern and the root of it to create a new pathway home, which I really love how you said, you know, changing the address. For me, when I heard you say that, I'm thinking about to me, the new address, it's not a new address, it's an old address, it's the address of you, of your soul. It's customer. The original address. Right. Right.
SPEAKER_05The original print before anybody came in and did any renovation.
SPEAKER_02Started messing it up and started taking you out. You know, there's a lot around, you know, owning that too, the being taken out, like that, you know, not blaming someone for it, but instead, this was meant for me for whatever reason to learn whatever it is I'm meant to learn. Do you agree with that?
SPEAKER_05I a hundred percent. And I I believe that just like staying attached to the trauma keeps us connected to our past, right? Blaming is a huge way of staying connected.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05You're not giving up the fight, right? So there's no movement forward as long as you're constantly taking steps backwards, and blaming is about backwards movement.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. I love this whole concept of really identifying the why, like why we stay in those same patterns, you know, why we relive and how, but the and so now I'm like, okay, so how do we let go and be in relationship in a different way, in an empowered way? So do you take your clients through any kind of um exploration or discovery around who they are so they can return to this beautiful person that they that they are?
SPEAKER_05Well, first of all, it's not only a return, but it's a rediscovery because most don't most of us don't even know it was there.
SPEAKER_00Right, right.
SPEAKER_05You know? Um and a lot of the work that I work uh often with individuals, but I also work a lot with couples, and I've kind of created this program called Divorce Recovery, where it kind of starts in couples therapy. Sadly, 70% of couples that start couples therapy don't stay together because they come too late. And then what ends up happening eventually, no, some couples therapy does work, you know, and a large part of what makes some couples therapy work is forgiveness and acceptance. Um, but it's being you have to be very careful about what you choose to forgive and what you choose to accept. And and and your contribution to the conflict, right?
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_05If you are going in the other direction, the majority, that's ending a relationship, the next step, and and that's a long process, you know, that's deciding to leave something. If you have children, it has another dimension. It ideas, dreams, it's it's a huge letting go, it's a huge it's it's a it's a death of of of sorts. Um it's almost more complicated than a death because it's a death that involves choice, right? Well, for one person, or maybe both but it's a choice, it's not something that yes, absolutely. Because one person might not want to be choosing to absolutely, but but that that lack of being the person that is not the chooser is in just as much pain because they're the victim of the action, you know? So it's kind of reciprocal like that. Okay, right in any event, um, it takes a long time to go through it. Um, you know, there's legal stuff, there's financial stuff, there's anger, there's resentment, there's shock. There's staying in the relationship with the person because you share children with them or a dog with them or a home with them, certainly a history. And then slowly over time, it kind of transitions into helping them recognize their own voice, lowering the old volume, raising the new volume, and changing the narrative and exploring at an older age in life what it's like to get to know somebody. And it's pretty miraculous to watch if you let them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's really interesting. I gravitate to um when you say, you know, unfortunately, you know, 70% uh doesn't work out. And it's just it's just the conditioning of our world, you know. For me, I hear it so differently. I'm like, it always works out, no matter what. 100% of the time, it works out because it's supposed to be this. Now that is tough to hear because, you know, I'm someone who left a marriage of 20 years, and people would say, I'm so sorry it didn't work out. And I'm like, why are you so it's ex There's a lot of pain, and I'm not taking any of that away from me or him because we both experience a lot, but it worked out, it worked exactly out because I know that we're not meant to be together for this chapter in our life, as painful as it is for both of us for different reasons, it's not meant for us. So that is our destiny. That is what is supposed because I think the reframe into that understanding is is really critical for people.
SPEAKER_05Otherwise, so many feel like I fully agree, I fully agree with you. I think I think that um one of the things that happens as a therapist or the kind of therapist that I am is that yeah, people come into therapy most of the time, at least consciously wanting it to work. So I say unfortunately, because I know I get it. I have that sense of empathy for the person or the person who's listening right now saying, Oh god, it's not gonna work out. And that's really where that comes from. I agree 100% that that if you allow it to happen, that you will end up exactly where you should be. Because you'll build that and you'll get there. I agree a hundred percent. But I also think a lot has to go on first.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. So so many things. So, d what was your journey around you know, your connection to body intelligence, and have you allowed that intelligence within you, that voice, um, that intuition, that somatic knowing, have you allowed that to be a part of your life, or is that a newer concept for you?
SPEAKER_05It's a newer concept for me for two reasons. A, it's a newer concept because I wasn't trained that way as a therapist. Yeah. But so much work is being done in that area now, and it is so helpful with trauma that to not acknowledge it and not to learn it and not to know it, it it's why I have that moment with you that takes 30 seconds and all of a sudden I can feel different.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05The other reason, and I'm gonna I'll share, you know, something personal, and that is that um I've I've lost a hundred pounds in the past let's call it three years. And I mean, I've lost 50 pounds. My my joke is I've lost 50 pounds 50 times in my lifetime, you know, lifetime, but this time I lost a hundred pounds and I've kept it off. Um primarily it's the weight loss journey started for health reasons. But one of the things that I've realized is that on the one hand, your problems still exist because your internal skeleton you don't lose. But all of that weight covered up so much emotion and covered up so much access to how do you really feel to your soul, to inside of yourself.
SPEAKER_02When did you have that awareness?
SPEAKER_05Not one day, it's been a process.
SPEAKER_02Is that when you were in it? Were you were you like, no, right?
SPEAKER_05No, not at all. It would be when somebody would see me for the first time and say, Oh, oh my god, or when I would put on a pair of pants that I never thought I could put on, or when I would dance and I would feel my body being able to move in different ways, or when I would do yoga and I would able be able to, you know, clasp my hands in ways that I couldn't because I couldn't get to that space. Right. And I realized that on some level, metaphorically, so much more was available to me.
SPEAKER_02Um, can you go back? Do you mind? Because you opened this up. So I'd love for the listeners, I think this is really important and such a beautiful, um, vulnerable moment and a lot of lessons that we can learn, all of us. Can you talk to us about like when that happened, the the weight when it was on, and and that relationship? Were you just so disconnected from your body?
SPEAKER_05And that I was not disconnected from my body, I was connected to my body, and I and I well, I was connected to what was covering my body up. Let me put it.
SPEAKER_02Well, no, right. I mean the internal. Okay, so there's two. That's important. You're talking about the physical, you were connected to that weight that was that was covering up.
SPEAKER_05Exactly. 100% so I will interest a protection. It it full full armor, and I will also say that um the main thing that that really came along with it when I when I was so unhealthy um physically, yeah, would was shame. Because, you know, weight is the one thing that you can't hide, right?
SPEAKER_00Right?
SPEAKER_05You can have a bunch of problems going on and people don't see it on the outside, but they see you getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And I'm speaking primarily about health right now, not about the way one looks, right, but the way one feels. And the shame was the thing that was the largest that became the smallest over time, and that is that's the work, right?
SPEAKER_02That's the work, which I want to get to that work in a second. So you had this connection to the body, the physical body as the protector covering you up. What was going on inside your body? In were you connected to a voice? Was there a voice within you that was like, we have to change this, or we're not happy, or like, was there any inner dialogue going on?
SPEAKER_05Tons of inner dialogue, and it was primarily what's wrong with me and why can't I do this?
SPEAKER_02Right. I help people so that's where the shame came.
SPEAKER_05That's more, yeah, and the judgment and the criticism. You know, here I am helping people all day long for all these years with all their issues, and I can't get this taken care of.
SPEAKER_00Right. Interesting.
SPEAKER_05That was the main sentence that played over and over and over again. And you don't have to keep that exclusive to physicality, you know. You can keep that ex think about that in terms of relationships. You know, why can't I move from this?
SPEAKER_00Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_05What's the glue? What why am I staying connected to this extremely destructive position?
SPEAKER_02Would you what would you say about this? So oftentimes with my clients and myself, because I've practiced this, um, I've definitely released this now for sure. People I find chase the why. Why am I this? Why am I da-da-da? Why? And when we chase the why, we are shaming ourselves, we are judging ourselves, we are being so critical. When I let go of chasing the why, when I got so empowered in my body to say, I do not need to explain anything, I am who I am because I am, because I am. Uh, it was the most liberating transformation, and it's really an incredible feeling. And I wonder, do you think that chase of trying to answer that question deepened your shame? Yes.
SPEAKER_05And I and by the way, I want to tell you that I love that expression, Chase, the why. Oh, thanks. Even though, as a therapist, so much of the work is about understanding. Yeah, it's also about accepting, letting, and letting surrender, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Letting go of it. We don't need to know why. We don't need to know why.
SPEAKER_05And and the why is is often about self-blame. Exactly. That's where that's where the road takes you back to. So I do believe it's very I mean, I have to be very clear here. I do believe it's very important to understand our history and under how it plays out in the day-to-day.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05But at a certain point, right, you're chasing that and chasing that, that's just like staying connected to the past.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I totally agree with you. And I do want to um make sure that I'm clear on that as well, because I do it, it's the the chase has to stop when it involves criticizing, criticizing ourselves and judging ourselves. Understanding our history is so important and can be very valuable, but it's about how we're engaging with this information. So then take us to what happened. So then all of a sudden, so you've got this shame, you're carrying this stuff. What was the tipping point? Like, what made you what was that transition like for you to switch over how that happened?
SPEAKER_05Uh yeah, very honestly, because that's I I can't do it any other way.
SPEAKER_02No, honesty is what we want. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I Got a bunch of really, really, really concerning blood results back.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And I got put on a medication that, you know, everybody's talking about nowadays, but I went on it kind of before it became popular for health reasons. Um and one of the amazing things about these GLP ones is that it really, when you say stop chasing the Y on some level, that medication allows you to quiet the noise. It really does. There is a psychological, physiological component to the fact that the food noise stops. And that doesn't always feel terrific because silence can be a little scary. It's unfamiliar. You're learning a whole new, a whole new dance, a whole new way of thinking.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And that's what happened. And it's a journey. I mean, it's still happening. Um I think it's a lifelong journey. Um but but I can tell you that the more you chip away at the shame, and the more you chip away at the judgment, and the more you chip away at the chasing and the chasing and the chasing, the more doors open for you.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm. Yeah, beautiful. So so the medication helped you stop with the craving necessarily, right? The like constant going after. And then how did you work on the internal connection? How did you heal the relationship with yourself? And I'm sure it's an ongoing, we're always ongoing, but how did that what did you do to kind of like get back to loving or liking yourself? I guess.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you know what? It it's not even for me, it wasn't even getting back because I I was so covered up with it for so long, yeah, that it was almost like I forgot it existed. Like wasn't born obese, you know what I'm saying? Right, right. So I forgot that at one point there was this beautiful baby. And the the baby that hadn't, you know, hurt themselves at that point.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And uh you you you it's a process, it's it's it's a it's just in a deeply internal process where you allow yourself to say things things can change, things can shift. And I can and I can do this now.
SPEAKER_02Mm-hmm. When did you uh start your practice?
SPEAKER_05My practice, my psychology.
SPEAKER_02As a therapist, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Oh, uh 37 years ago.
SPEAKER_02So where were you along this journey of you know letting go of the weight, really on your road to recovery and connection?
SPEAKER_05No, no, no, no. I I prop as I said, I've lost 50 pounds 50 times. So I I was I was always up and down and up and down, up and down and up and down as I was working and as I was working and as I was Yeah, there was a lot of by the way, there was a lot of shame in being a therapist that clearly was being self-destructive, just like there was a lot of shame in being a couples therapist who got divorced.
SPEAKER_00Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_05You know, you you it's hard to not, you know, you have to I'm curious about that.
SPEAKER_02How did you did you were you were you transparent with your clients? Like, hey, listen, I'm here counseling you as as your therapist, as and I've gotten divorced, and I want you to know, or I'm battling this weight thing, or like, were you transparent about your own?
SPEAKER_05It was much more much more transparent about my divorce than I was about my weight because I didn't really have to be transparent about my weight. That was an obvious right, right? Um, my divorce. Well, it's it's actually very interesting, and I really want to say this to everybody. The most important thing about a therapeutic relationship is chemistry. I'm not for everybody, I am transparent. I I'm not transparent in that I don't go to my patients for them to help me, but I am transparent in in ways that some people are not about sharing aspects of my life because my feeling is how can you really feel safe putting yourself in my hands when I'm not putting myself in yours in some way?
SPEAKER_02Right. Mm-hmm. I love that.
SPEAKER_05Um, you know, that's just that's just I think that's so beautiful.
SPEAKER_02Listen, that's a I think that's a a very strong way to lead with vulnerability, sharing your story, being open. It because if we want to help people and heal people and empower people, they need to be able to see themselves inside of you or other people's stories. So how are they gonna do that unless we're being honest?
SPEAKER_05So actually, what would happen, what actually happened a few times, and then it kind of just evolved, is I used to, I still do occasionally um go to soul cycle classes. And you know, I knew I knew the people that originally owned it, and I was in the first soul cycle class ever. And so when I was going through my divorce, the teachers, wonderful, empathic, lovely people, would say, You can do it, Lisa Anne, you know, you can do it, you can get to the other side. And you know, I'd come in weeping and thinking I couldn't and not recognizing that I had patience in the class.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_05So they would come to the session and they would say, Well, why are they saying you can do it? What is it that you're doing? Oh and that's when I recognized I I have to I have to open up about this. Um and I and I have to forgive myself for it, you know? That's how I can open up about it.
SPEAKER_02How'd you do that?
SPEAKER_05How did I do that? I wish I had a really quick, easy answer. Um, by by you want to know how I did it by practice by repetition, by doing it over and over and over and over again.
SPEAKER_02Like doing what? What would you do?
SPEAKER_05Share my story. Say when somebody I get a lot of referrals from divorce attorneys, right patients, and and they would come in and they would say, You don't know what it's like, you don't know what it's like, and I would say, Stop. I I need to let you know that I actually I do know what it's like. I don't know what your situation is like, right, exactly. But I had a situation, I have a situation, right? And on some level, I kind of look at it in this, I don't mean to sound like Pollyanna, but it was like I made lemonade out of lemons. I said, Right, let me try to take one of the most painful things that I've ever gone through and and and turn it into something that can benefit me and others and start new journeys.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. How I was I I love all of that. And you said, you know, it was a long journey to forgiveness. So I was curious about how you forgave yourself. Was it in the how did you forgive yourself? How did you release and let go? And so was it was it in the sharing of your story? Was it being transparent about your story?
SPEAKER_05I don't think it's ever completely done. I think that um, but it but but I think for some people it is for me, it's it's a process, it's an awareness, um it's it's front of mind. But the the main way that I began to forgive myself is to recognize that nobody's perfect, right? And that we have this idea about this blueprint about the way our life is supposed to look.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And that's not that doesn't have to be the case. We can change the blueprints, even if we don't want to change the blueprint, and we're hands in a new blueprint, right? You know, we can change it. There's pain whether you're the lever or whether you're the levy, yeah, yeah. There's pain, there's pain either way, there's certainly pain either way, and it it had to do with recognizing that I didn't have to be a certain way in order to be good with myself, right?
SPEAKER_02Do you find that what you've experienced in your life with both of these stories that you've shared, and I know there's others, um, other stories within you. Do you think it's informed how you lead your life now?
SPEAKER_05100%.
SPEAKER_02Can you give me an example?
SPEAKER_05I can give you an example in terms of food and in terms of uh my relationship that I'm in now. Um and in my relationship with other people as well. Yeah. And that is that you feel sort of those, those I call them my antique feelings, you know, the old feelings, the used feelings.
SPEAKER_01I love that.
SPEAKER_05And and and you say, gosh, you know, I can't believe you're still there. Like you were supposed to not be there anymore. Didn't I got we got we we that that you know that went away. And and then you say, wait, wait, wait, okay, there's room for you, but there's like a little storage closet for you. You no longer get to take up the majority of the storage. You get to take up a little space and I'm gonna I'm gonna put you away and I'm gonna respect you, but I'm not going to let you dictate what happens to me next in my life. And I'm going to recognize that everybody's different, and I'm going to recognize that I can survive.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Which is why taking a risk and a chance and starting over is so important.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I love that. You've like clearly developed such resiliency because of the experiences that you've had.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Which is so, so beautiful. I I love all of this. I mean, I am so grateful for your vulnerability truly in sharing both of those stories because, again, that's how we help people see themselves and give them hope. Um, and and I so I really, really appreciate that. And so my last kind of question is around just your work and and where I mean, where, yes, where people can find you, but more than that, what's your philosophy around your approach to therapy and how you work with your clients? Like, what would you say are your core principles? And were they developed as a result of your life story and all that you've learned?
SPEAKER_05Absolutely developed from my life story, from my relationships, from my connections to other people.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Now, mostly my connection to myself, the newest part of my journey.
SPEAKER_01Beautiful.
SPEAKER_05Kind of like where you come in. Yeah, for me. Seriously. Yeah. But I was going to say, I had one thing to add, and I realized that the one thing I had to add actually answers your question about my principles, and that is that much of the time when somebody leaves a first or second session, I always compare a session to a first date. Like you kind of know if you want to kiss somebody after a first date. The chemistry, what you know, sometimes two dates, right? Yeah. And I will say to the person when they're leaving my office, I can't make you any big grandiose promises right now. I I'm not going to make any major statements about your life because I don't know much about you, but I can guarantee you, you do not and will not always have to feel this way. You will feel better. If you do the work, you can feel better. And that's my core principle of work is that you don't have to stay stuck in the pain. And at the same time, you don't have to run away from it. And you can tolerate learning to live with discomfort. Because much of the time when we try to get rid of discomfort, we do so in self-destructive ways.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. And it continues to show up because we're not listening. Exactly. To that, to that wisdom, to listening to what it has to say. You know, I know we talked about this briefly, but definitely the IFS parts work have influenced my work. Um, I believe very deeply that we have different parts that are associated to different aspects of our life, to different memories and experiences. And when we can really look at them, try to look at them objectively with compassion, at least.
SPEAKER_05I I believe deeply in I Sparks work, and compassion is a huge piece. Like I will often say to a patient, let's talk to the little girl or little boy version of you.
SPEAKER_02Right, exactly. Of course.
SPEAKER_05They really are, they're in there and they deserve to be heard in a way that I don't think they ever were heard before.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. And so many people that are not, you know, um not connected or familiar with IFS work, it's internal family parts work and it's internal family systems, and it's really identifying these different parts of us and honoring them and and looking at that little girl, looking at that little boy and really giving them a voice. And so it's really beautiful. And I understand that people that are not connected to this work are like, what the hell are you talking about? Parts work, voice, da-da-da. But it's real. So if you are listening and there's any part of you that's like, what is that? Lean in, DM, email me. I have a ton of resources to share. Um, because it's really, really important that we pick those parts, like separate them, isolate them so we remember that we're not all one thing, like you said earlier, you know, many things.
SPEAKER_05And we don't, we if we get to know those inner pieces of ourselves, yeah, we have much more control over what leads us, right, what informs us, and what we don't want to repeat anymore.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_05That you know, that takes that takes really hard work. It's like going to the emotional gym, you know?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_05That you know your heart and soul is a muscle, as is your mind. And that's what it's like.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. And so worth it. Tell us where people can find you, how people can connect with you, please.
SPEAKER_05When you can find me, um, my my phone number. Uh I'm not gonna give my office number.
SPEAKER_02I wouldn't give your phone number here, yeah.
SPEAKER_05You wouldn't give my cell number here?
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Um, you can find me under Lisa Angodnik. It is um on the internet. You can Google me and you'll find me in Psychology Today, and you can leave me an email, or my phone number is on Psychology Today, and and you can reach out that way, and I will get back to you. I'm I'm a fast responder, so I will get back to you within 24 hours and take it from there.
SPEAKER_02I love it. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for being here with me today. I really appreciate you. I appreciate your stories and all the wisdom that you shared with us. And thank you to everybody listening to the Wisdom from Within podcast, where human stories awaken leadership from within. I am so grateful for this platform. I'm so grateful for this movement, and I can't wait to see you all next week. Okay, take care. Thank you so much. If something in this conversation spoke to you, don't keep it to yourself. Send it to someone who might need that message too. You can also send me a comment because I would love to know what it is that landed for you. But most importantly, take a moment to pause and listen to what it is that resonated because that's where your real guidance system lives. The one you can trust, the one you can rely on. See you next week.