The Hidden Patterns Running Your Life | Ep 14

What if the biggest thing holding you back is something you can’t even see? In this powerful conversation, shadow work expert Junie Moon shares how she transformed decades of self-doubt, body shame, people-pleasing, and unhealthy relationship patterns into a life filled with confidence, purpose, love, and freedom. Discover how hidden beliefs shape our decisions, how to recognize the patterns running your life, and why healing your shadow can unlock the future you’ve been searching for.

Quote: “We all have something to offer. It’s about having the courage to listen and take action.”

Chapters
 04:15 – The Marriage That Changed Everything
 08:12 – How Hidden Patterns Control Our Lives
 12:00 – Finding Love After Healing Yourself
 18:00 – Why It’s More Painful to Avoid Your Shadows
 23:15 – The Documentary That Changed Thousands of Lives
 28:00 – Turning Your Pain Into Purpose

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My Book: Your Body is Speaking

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🎵 Music by Max Lilivois @prd.maxxell

✨ If this episode made you see your body and your brain in a new way, share it with someone who needs the science behind the wisdom. Sometimes that’s the permission people are waiting for.

Transcript

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Welcome to the Wisdom From Within podcast, where human stories inspire authentic connections and impactful leadership. My name is Jen Axel, and I am so psyched you're here. Let's get started. If you haven't heard of Shadow Work, you gotta pay attention because Shadow Work is an incredible portal to help you feel and understand your life and listen to your experiences and use them as assets to empower and lead your life in all the ways. Juni Moon is an expert in this, and she's an author of podcast hosts, an expert in love and relationships and shadow work. And this conversation, I believe, is gonna awaken a lot for you. So join us, share this episode with anyone that you feel needs it. I'm so excited to share her body of work with you and her passion. Her passion is infectious. Here we go. I'm so excited to be here with you today. Oh me too. Wow. I mean, when did I look forward to it? We we met it's it's been at least a few years. It's been at least a few years. Yeah, I think it was COVID, and somehow you got on my radar, and I was just like, oh my god, look what she's doing. It's been a journey for sure. Yeah. Oh, what a journey. And I've gotten to know you through various ways with workshops and doing this, curating this gorgeous video representing your life and your journey. I was looking for it. I was looking for it. I don't know what I titled it, but I'm assuming you still have it. Oh, I I have it. I have it. So I'm happy to do it. I'm happy to share that with you. Yeah, I am it was so beautiful, so powerful. Your work is amazing. Well, I thank you. Well, today is about you, and it is about your journey and your brilliance and how you found your way into this work through your body, through your growth, through that intelligence that rests within you. And I know that you are one to follow that. And that's what this podcast is all about. It's all about helping people understand that there is this wildly intuitive intelligence within us that we tend to ignore because we haven't been taught how to listen. And so when we listen, these are the things that happen. You happen like Juni Moon, and she is the CEO of the midlife love out loud, a global love mentor. I love that because you exude love in everything that you do. Juni is also an author of loving the whole package, shed the shame and live life out loud. And you're a speaker and you have an expertise in shadow work. All of these things I mentioned are so grounded in the human experience and helping people come alive into their highest, most empowered self. And so I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for your expertise and I'm so happy you're here. Thank you. It's such a pleasure. I love you. I love your work. And uh yeah, thank you. So good to be in this conversation. Yeah, in this conversation that that is so important. So I would love to start by, you know, hearing about you and your connection to that inner voice and that intelligence and how it led you here. You know, sometimes in your life you may have not listened to it and sometimes I never. Right, exactly. I want to talk about that. But your stack of life like absolutely brought you to this place. And it's so inspiring because so many times we turn away from the life experience feeding our journey, and you really did the opposite. You allowed it to feed. So I'd love for you to talk about that. Sure, sure. Yeah, I mean, I'll start with now because I think it's important to like I love my life, I'm comfortable in my body, I have the most amazing partner. Um, I wake up every day excited, mostly. There are moments because I'm still human, but overall, I'm just wow, like how I got here. But there were more years than not where I was just putting band-aids on a lot of the things that were not okay. I wasn't listening to my discomfort. I I micromanaged everything. And specifically, I was in my 20-year marriage where it really was like so apparent to me at the end what was going on. But during it, I walked on eggshells. I was so afraid to actually speak my truth, to use my voice. And I just I suffered inside, but no one knew. I had a big smile on my face, and yet people had to know because I was 200 pounds. I used food to soothe myself, to manage all the emotions and all the stuff that I really wasn't in tune with, in touch with. And so I just pushed everything aside, I put everything in shadow. And I was like, I'm just gonna make the best of it, and I'm just going to stay on top of as much as I can stay on top of. And then it just crashed and burned because there was this moment, literally, with my my husband at the time and my kid, where he was just bullying my kid, and my kid was already having challenges. And my whole body, speaking of like listening to my body, it's like like first it was my fear. I felt the contraction. I felt the like, oh my God, you know, my poor kid. You know, and yet I had started deeply learning how to trust myself and trust my instincts and feel, and then something else shifted instead of the contraction. I felt grounded, I felt strong, and I said, enough. How did you get there? How did you how did you make that shift from contracting and being like, oh my God, my kid, my kid, to okay, uh, you know, now I'm empowered. How did that happen? Yeah, and that's the shadow work, and that's the body of work that I'm training with. I've done, I've done a lot of different things for sure. Yeah. The shadow, you know, therapy, years of therapy, learned a lot about myself, all the stuff, you know, all the stuff, the books, the workshops. Um, shadow work helped me not only identify what I was squashing and why, big deal. Why did I push all those things down and away, but it helped me to build back to the truth, to reconnect and and allow myself to feel differently. And and it wasn't like overnight, you know, it in what used to be years of pain, suddenly was months, then it was days, and then it was moments where I rebuilt the inner landscape where it was like, oh, I'm feeling this, oh, I'm noticing. That's the old pattern, that's the old way of being. Wait a second, I have another choice here, and I know what that feels like, and I know what I can tap into because of the shadow work processes that I had experienced. So, I mean, that's the why, that's why I do the work I do because what used to be long, torturous time of pain now could be seconds because we can feel differently and we have a different way of handling those moments of fear, of doubt, of contraction. So, yeah, it was it was my journey that brought me there. And then I was like, wait a second, this is an old tape, this is an old experience. I could do it differently. Right. How empowering. So empowering, so profound. And I took care of my kid, you know. Yeah. Oh my God, absolutely. So you're taking care of yourself and you're taking care of your kid. Can you talk to us about the shadow work? I mean, how does that happen and how is it different from therapy? Let's say. Yeah, yeah. Um, okay. So, first let me just say the shadow work model I've been trained in and licensed in is from shadow work seminars. It's a very different journey of shadow work. There's a lot of people saying they're doing work with shadow and shadow work, and that's great. Um, it's just different. We've been, we have been taught how to do these special processes that help people really tap into the empowerment, really help them have that confidence and clarity and the boundaries and being able to be vulnerable. Like, like it's a whole body of work that's not like a lot of what people are doing. So I just want to say that. I want to hear how. Oh my God. Yes. I love you. I love your excitement. No, it's so good. I mean, anyone that's hearing that is like, oh my God, oh my god, it sounds like yeah, how do you do it? How do you do it? Well, first let me just say what shadow is because yeah, what is shadow work? It's dealing with the shadow. The part of us that we want to hide, the part of us that we think is ick or people aren't gonna like us, people are gonna leave us, we're gonna get criticized, we're gonna be left, we're gonna get hurt. So throughout our years of living, especially in early years, we learn to be a certain way and not be a certain way so that we survive. So we do that for 30, 40 years, it sucks. And eventually we go, oh, I'm 200 pounds, I'm not having a life I want, I'm not having the love I want, I'm not having the joy I want. And that's where this body of work comes in. So, how does it work? We start with, well, what would you want? Like if you could imagine your ideal scenario, even if you have to kind of make it up because maybe you've never experienced it. Right. And I'm a love expert. I work with people primarily that are single, wanting love. And so they go, they I want love, I'm ready, I'm on the apps, but their shadows are still running them. They're they're not showing up fully. So we start with, oh, I want love, I want, I want to have a different career. I mean, whatever it is you desire. Yeah. Well, what are what's what's showing up for you? What are the patterns? What are the behaviors? What's the inner critic telling you? What is your inner landscape? And with your body of work, literally, yeah, what is your body telling you? Oh, I'm gonna go online, but now my body's contracted. Now my heart is beating, and now I'm sweating, and then my inner critic is telling me who's gonna want you? You're older, like so. That's where shadow work comes in. It's like, where did you get these messages? Right, where did you learn you're not good enough? Where did you uh get uh more careful about I better be careful so I don't get criticized or judged or left? That's early on. And some of it's just built into being a human being to survive. And so then we dismantle it. And the shadow work, like I said, are specially designed processes to help you go, yeah, boom, no, thank you. That's a tape in my head. There, it doesn't serve me anymore. Oh, my body's so contracted with that message. Well, what if I give it a new message like you're safe? I'm safe, I can open, I have choice. Oh, but the voice might say, Yes, but you don't know enough, or you're gonna get hurt, or no one's gonna want you. Whoa, maybe you again do some work around, you know, shut the F up, you know, like get the heck out of my head. I no place for you. And you feel in your body maybe something you've never experienced before. And that's what's special is in a container with someone like myself, a facilitator, where there aren't real life consequences, you get to experience your voice, your power, maybe your broken heart, your vulnerability, and you get to soothe it and you get to change it. And then you change it in your in your life. You're just different after a session. It just is the way it goes. That's so beautiful. I mean, it's incredibly empowering. And you have a strength about you that is so beautiful and and so you know, captivating. And it's most definitely, I would imagine, because you lived this. You didn't just learn this work, you lived what it was like to live in that shadow and be on the other side. And then you did the work and you found the empowerment. Now you want to help people do the same. Hundred percent, hundred percent. And even with the love, I mean, I I still am blown away. I mean, seriously blown away how easy it is with my partner, how deeply loving and safe it is, how extraordinary it is. And it was not like that. Even a handful of years ago, I was still trying to empty out my shadows and befriend them and and learn how to love my life without the partner, love myself without external validation. I was still seeking that, and that was reflected in the men that I chose. And so as I was still working my stuff, I was helping others find their partners. And I'm like, well, I'm helping them, you know, like where am I still tripped up? Because I had my own journey of pain and questioning, like, why am I doing the same thing over and over? Oh, pattern, what else do I have to look at? So we all have our own unique journey. Here I am, a love expert, and I still needed to work on my own stuff to get to where I am. And it's, you know, continuing, continuing, continuing. Yes, totally. What I love so much about this, and that, and what I'm about to say, is really what this podcast is meant to do, which is meant to help people look within at their life journey, and as opposed to wishing it was something else, or why me really going inward to understand that it is wisdom, the wisdom from within, the wisdom that is meant to teach us and guide us and bring us into our purpose. I always say that everything happens, I do believe this, that everything happens for you, not to you. If we choose to engage with that, then we can use all the stuff that we have gone through as hard as it has been and use it as the greatest opportunity of our life to go and serve, right? Because ultimately it's about service. I mean, that's what brings us. How what's your connection to that? The service that you're doing, that service element. Like, how do you feel in your body that you have been able to look and learn and be the student and now serve? Like, how does that feel for you? Well, before I go there, I just want to say, like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, about the four, not the two. You know, and and we could think that. Like, we could like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Everything happens for a reason and it's happening for me and my growth. But sometimes, sometimes things happen and they're painful. Absolutely. And and we want to just like go, well, you know, screw that thinking. Don't you know what happened to me? Right. And and so I offered, like, it's a yes and it's like, yeah, sometimes life throws us some painful curveballs. And right if we choose to take some responsibility, if we choose to say, well, wait a second, this just happened to me. Like the other day, my ankle went over and I thought I broke it again. I heard a pop, it was painful. It happened to me, right? But I could have been like, oh my God, this is gonna screw up my vacation. I'm not gonna be able to hike. I let myself feel that because I'm a human being. Right. And I then stepped into, well, this is happening for me. What might how might I dance with this? Let me take care of myself, let me be proactive, let me do my acupuncture and my icing and allow myself to trust that this is all unfolding perfectly. Right. I don't know why, but it is. And so it's a practice. And it is thankfully, a couple days later, I'm like, all better. I have no idea. But if I stayed in the poor me and nursed it, and I would have had a few days of hell, you know. So again, it's like, how can I play with this? So, in reference to me doing this work, yeah. Well, first of all, it keeps me green. It reminds me on a regular basis that um that I have choice, that I can be empowered and I can feel strong as I'm supporting others that are questioning and I'm working in the trenches of doubts and inner critic. It's like, oh yeah, yeah, I was there and I'm not, and I can still, and so it helps me in that way. It's a very selfish thing helping other people. I feel so great. Uh all joking aside, right? There's nothing, there's there's nothing more rewarding than seeing people go, oh my God, I didn't notice that. Like even just yesterday, I was working with a client and there was just this one moment, and she's a new client, so she like dropped into this, oh my God, Junior, I I didn't even realize this. Right. And in that moment, she had a whole shift in her perception of what she experienced as a five-year-old and how that has impacted all of her relationships in her entire life. And it's like here she's thinking, well, I'm doing this in relationships, and well, he was this and he was that, and this is what happened. Well, underneath it, there was a story and an experience, yeah, and it has shaped her life. So when I could be that for someone, when I could use those tools, and I see myself as the vehicle at this point. It's like I know all the stuff. I am I am a trained shadow worker for 20 years now. It's like I know it. I get out of my way and things just come through and I see things in a different way. Yeah, because I'm not trying so hard to change people or fix people. Right. I am in service. And when that happens, there are really are no words. It's just, ah, how lucky am I to be using my life and my journey to help somebody else? It's like I have a flashlight through the trenches because I know the way out now. It's brilliant. I'm oh my gosh, I love it so much. It's so empowering. I have a question about the shadow work. Yeah. You know, I would imagine that it's very challenging for people. And there's a lot of people that are like, I just want to feel great and I don't want to go in and look at my five-year-old self. You know, how do you frame it so that it feels safe and people, you know, uh make that choice to step into that conversation? Well, if they're feeling great and their life is great, they can just not do that. But at the end of the day, if if there are some things that are are has, you know, they have a high price they're paying for a dynamic in their life. Um I say to them, it's more painful to not look at your stuff and transform it than to stay in this small bubble of comfort of what you know. It's like like people think shadow work is this painful, scary thing. It goes fast. You know, seriously, it goes fast. We do a session, you're not in the it, they there's science that shows you don't want to stay in your trauma. You don't want to stay in the pain. That re-traumatizes you. And frankly, there are a lot of shadow work people out there doing that, not in the model I've been taught. Right. So, what we have been taught is how to create a place where it is safe. You decide where you want to go with our guidance, with our with our um prompts, you know? Right. So it's like, hey, we're I'm seeing this direction. Let's go there. Does that does that sound like is that is that resonating with you? Is that feeling good? And stop when it's happened, and then we go there. Because sometimes stop is the biggest uh breakthrough. So to answer your question, they're not gonna go anywhere that they're not ready to go. That they're not ready to go. I'm gonna make sure of that because that's the agreement. You only go where you feel safe enough to go. And if you don't feel safe, we don't go there. And it's it's just so transformational that at the end of a session, people are in a different place, they feel more excited, empowered, and lighter. People have all these wonderful side effects. They came in for love and suddenly they're losing weight. They came in to lose weight and now their their job is is um that you know, their career is soaring. So it just helps. So why stay in the pain? Yeah, it's what you know, and our and again, coming back to how we're wired as humans, we're wired to not have pain, we're wired to not enjoy the uncertainty. Uncertainty is scary, however, the more we can be comfortable with uncertainty and the more we can stretch, the more juicy our life is, and so we play with both. So we can stand. Yeah, I love that. I'm also feeling into your clients and especially specifically around love. And when they speak with you, I would imagine they're really learning how to listen to their body, really learning how to pay attention to that shadow when it shows up and in and have and develop a new relationship with it. I would imagine it doesn't go away completely, but it's like it continues to inform them and guide them. Am I right? Completely, completely. And so, so with shadow work, we definitely use you know our head. We have to kind of look at things and figure stuff out. And then very often throughout the time, I say, close your eyes, go into your body. What's it feeling like? Where are you feeling energy? Oh, I'm feeling it in my gut. It feels really tight. And we go there. Like, what's it feel like? Oh, it feels like a dark hole, a black hole. And I feel like like there it's empty and it's eating me up alive, or my throat feels closed and I feel like I can't express myself. So we go into the body, and so we could tune into oh, that. That's me in this state of being when I'm telling myself these things or I'm focusing on these things. This is what happens in my body. Good to notice. So when if you're out in the world and you suddenly go, Oh, I'm feeling contracted, I'm feeling scared. My body is telling me that it's like, okay, great. I'm hearing it. Now what? And then, of course, in shadow work, we then go into the experience. And then suddenly it's like, oh, I'm feeling more relaxed. I'm feeling like I could have a deeper breath. My body is is is dropping into a place of grounded and open. And suddenly there's a new way, a new relationship with our experience of the body. So the more we do that a lot in shadow work because we need that's that's the thing. It's like most work out there is neck up. We need the rest of us, exactly. Rest of our being to access. Yeah. I know. Well, you know, I talk about mindset and body set and bridging them together. You know, just recently I had such a profound experience. And I thought that I had my mindset and body set activated and connected. But when you go deeper and deeper, which I did this past weekend, I couldn't believe what released and brought those two parts so um in sync. So it's like we can continue once we're there and we have that connection, there's more to access as we go, which is really incredible. I'd love to hear also about the um documentary that you started, right? It's shed the shame. Yeah. Yeah. Can you talk to us about that? Because it's making me think about that in this in this moment in this conversation, because we're shedding and we're and we're, you know, understanding this shadow. Talk to me about the shed the shame documentary. I love that. Yeah, this is the thing I'm most proud of of everything I've ever done in my life. So after mega years, like up to 47 years old, I think that was when it was, um, or somewhere around that. So most of my life. Yeah. Um, I did not feel comfortable in my skin. I felt ugly. I wanted, I felt so much shame. If I was invited to a pool party, I would find a way to get out of it. I never had anything to wear. Sometimes I wouldn't leave the house because I just hated myself. And then, you know, 40s, early 50s, again, I don't remember. Um, I had an opportunity to have uh Andy Golub, a very well-known body painter, come on my show. I had a different show at the time uh called what was it, Life Out Loud with Juni Moon. And so I said, you know, how about you paint me while we're doing the interview? And he said, Yes, that'd be wonderful. But then I realized, oh my God, he paints naked people. And then I thought, you know what, let me sit on this. And so I, you know, for a month actually. And I thought, can I really do this? Can I literally be naked on video for the world to see? And the answer was yes. And that blew my mind from all the hiding and the shame to the uh the other side from shadow work that I loved myself and there was nothing to hide anymore. And more importantly, and this is big, I knew it would help so many people feel less alone and give them hope of what could be with their pain around their body image and body shame. So I hired a videographer and we did a documentary, a nine-minute documentary on body image and body shame. And I talk about my journey from hiding to letting the whole world see me. And it went to film festivals. Um, at last I checked it. It's been a while. I think it's like at 50,000, 60,000 views. It's on two stations. So uh it's it's it's it's gone viral. And seriously, when I released it, I had people coming up to me on the street in tears saying, Thank you, thank you for sharing this. I feel less alone. Um, and of course, that everyone goes, Oh my god, I could never do that. I'm like, Well, you don't have to. It's a metaphor. You don't have to get naked to love your body, you don't have to get naked to show the world. It is, it's my message of you can do it when you look at your shadows and claim a very different relationship with your body. So I'm very proud of that. Okay. Wow. That is profound. That is profound. Yeah. I celebrate you. I mean, what a beautiful gift that you've given the world. I feel that. I feel that. I got goosebumps hearing that. Um I I really am so grateful I said yes. And I will tell you that uh my finger hovered over the publish button to YouTube uh when it was ready to go. And I was like, am I really doing this? And I said to myself, what's the worst thing that can happen? And I thought, well, people can make fun of me and people can shame me, and that would really hurt. And I said, Well, what's the worst thing if I don't press that button? And then I said, that I'm not sharing my gift and I'm not sharing my truth, and I'm not sharing the message that healing is possible. And I sat with those two risks, and this is the work I do. It's like, if I do this, what happens? If I don't do that, what happens? And I knew in my heart that I would always regret not sharing what I thought was the greatest thing I ever did. And guess what? One person of all the tens of thousands of people, only one person made a comment on Facebook about, you know, she should have kept her clothes on. And it was so amazing that everybody, not even me, by the time I got there, swooped in and commented on this guy's post saying, you obviously didn't get the message, you know, you should just keep your mouth shut. But only one person, and yeah, I never regretted it ever, ever. Well, I didn't regret it, but it did make dating a little interesting when I would say, you know, and it's like, I gotta tell you something. Well, I didn't say it on the first date, but you know, hey, having a girlfriend that's naked on the internet. Oh my god. Wow. Oh my God. I mean, what courage. Thank you. Courage that it took to do that. And that's the thing, though, having a purpose, like you doing this podcast or or me doing my show that I did last year. It's like when we have a vision, and this is for everybody that's watching, when you have a vision or something that's calling you and it matters to you, then you find the courage to do it because it matters to you. You find a way, exactly, exactly. And fear is not going to stop you if it's so important to you. And if it is stopping you, that's where the shadow work comes in. That's where we need to kind of go, well, well, why are you keeping yourself from something that matters so much to you? Because there's a reason. Yeah, exactly. And what you were saying, it's what can take us into that level of service and helping people. And so if we don't right address the shadow and step into that, then we're really taking something from all the people that are waiting to hear it. So it's not just about you at that point, it's about the world that needs to hear your message, right? Yeah. So beautiful, so profound, so amazing. I love it. And I'm so grateful for you. I would love for you to share how people can A, see that documentary and B be in touch with you and get into your world. Okay. So it's probably the same thing. So let's let's I'm just thinking because the link sometimes searching, it's weird. So, what I would say is go to my website, Love Coach Juni Moon, lovecoachjuni moon.com, and go to the media page. Actually, it's called Press Page now. And if you go to the press page, the link is right there. Um, and so you can go to Love Coach Juni Moon for that as well as some other resources. And I would just encourage everybody also to go to Midlife Love Out Loud handle on Instagram. I'm posting things all the time about transformation and love and healthy relationships and what's possible. And that's another way to stay in the loop of what I'm offering. Oh my gosh, I love it. I'm so grateful for you. Oh, honey, I am so grateful that we are connected to this. Is where we all get very lovey dovey. Because, you know, as hosts of podcasts, you know, it's like we hold a lot. And then when we invite each other onto each other's podcast, it is such a gift to spend time with each other and we know each other. And and with you and I, we've we've gone some years now, and you I've done your work and have a video of me going through my story with my body gestures. And and I am just so deeply grateful to have this time to share my message with your people because you know we're in it, we're in it together, and totally we're both changing the world. We are changing the world, serving the world, shifting the world, empowering the world. I love it so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Juni. And thank you all for being here on the Wisdom from Within podcast, where human stories awaken the leader from within. That is what it's all about, listening to that wisdom so we can rise into that leadership, into that thought leadership. We are all thought leaders. We all have something to offer. So it's about paying attention and having the courage to listen and go take action. So thank you. I'll see you next week, everybody, on Wisdom from Within. If something in this conversation spoke to you, don't keep it to yourself. Send it to someone who might need that message too. You can also send me a comment because I would love to know what it is that landed for you. But most importantly, take a moment to pause and listen to what it is that resonated because that's where your real guidance system lives. The one you can trust, the one you can rely on. See you next one.