Wisdom from Within
Welcome to The Wisdom from Within podcast, I am Jen Aks and this is where we access mindset and bodyset - connecting both so that we can create the genuine, authentic, impact in our own lives and the lives we serve.
We get there by having conversations with industry leaders, scientists, executives, parents, your neighbors. These are conversations that reveal the intelligence your body already holds—and my mission is to help you awaken, trust so you can let it lead you into your greatest success.
Wisdom from Within
When You Stop Proving Yourself | Ep 7
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About the Guest
Madison Malloy is a best-selling author, mindset coach, speaker, and podcast host of Next to Madison — a show about confidence, identity, and reinvention. She started her career as a mortgage bond trader on Wall Street, survived the 2008 financial crisis, ran her own company, performed stand-up comedy for 13 years (including with the Red Hot Chili Peppers), and ultimately followed her gut to Nashville, where she now creates content and coaches others on how to stop overcomplicating life and start living authentically. She is the author of Time to Light the F**k Up and can be found at madisonmalloy.com and @realmadisonmalloy on Instagram and TikTok.
Episode Summary
In this wildly entertaining and surprisingly deep conversation, Jen Aks sits down with mindset coach, comedian, and multi-pivot queen Madison Malloy for a conversation about what happens when you spend decades ignoring your gut — and what opens up when you finally stop. Madison traces her path from a 16-year-old who decided she’d be an investment banker, to a mortgage bond trader living through the 2008 crash, to stand-up comedian, to author, to Nashville transplant who finally — after 37 years — feels genuinely calm. Along the way: rock bottom, antidepressants, scarcity mindset, a nudist colony in Jamaica, the ‘reject’ technique, mortality as a mindset hack, and why your gut was always right. This episode is as funny as it is profound — and it will make you want to follow your gut immediately.
What You’ll Learn
• How Madison decided to go to Wall Street at age 16 — and how little it had to do with passion
• What the 2008 financial crisis looked like from the inside — and why it became Madison’s exit sign
• Why living in fight-or-flight felt completely normal — and how she didn’t realize it until she moved out of New York City six weeks before this recording
• How to know when your gut is right: build a track record and use the proof
• Why you can manifest what you don’t want just as easily as what you do — and how to stop
• The ‘reject’ technique: a simple mental tool to stop other people’s scarcity from imprinting on your subconscious
• How Madison hit rock bottom — including her lowest moment — and how gratitude started to change everything
• Why she went on a mild antidepressant, and why she’s not ashamed of it
• How 13 years of stand-up comedy and a nudist colony in Jamaica taught her not to judge and to stop taking herself so seriously
• Why thinking about mortality makes you braver, more honest, and less afraid of rejection
• The video game mindset: stop, reset, go through — and enjoy it while it lasts
Key Concepts Introduced
• The Gut Track Record — Madison’s method for building trust in her intuition: when the feeling came up and she was later proven right, she used that as evidence to start listening
• Manifesting What You Don’t Want — the warning that fear-based thinking and constant scarcity can pull unwanted outcomes toward you just as powerfully as desire-based thinking pulls good ones
• The Reject Technique — mentally saying ‘reject’ while listening to someone else’s negativity or scarcity so it doesn’t imprint on your subconscious
• The Video Game Mindset — treating life as a game: stop, reset, move forward; nothing is permanent, and the whole thing is shorter than you think
• Mortality as a Mindset Hack — keeping the reality of impermanence in conscious view as a way to dissolve rejection fears, increase vulnerability, and stop sweating the small stuff
• Bodyset vs. Mindset — Jen’s framework applied throughout: Madison listened to her body for decades without having a name for it; this episode names it
• Life Is Happening For Me —
Welcome to the Wisdom From Within podcast. My name is Jen Ax and I am your host. This is where mindset meets body set where we access both so that we can make the most genuine, authentic, empowered impact on those we love and those we serve. Let's get started. I am so excited today to have Madison Malloy, who is the podcast host of Next to Madison, which is all about confidence and identity and reinvention. She's a best-selling author, a mindset coach, and a speaker. And what I love so much about this woman's story is that she has taken so many pivots. Just wait. She started in finance and she pivoted into comedy and she pivoted into having her own podcast, et cetera, et cetera. The list is long. She's made a lot of moves. And at the end of the day, she has followed her gut. She has followed her intuition and she has found freedom because of it. There's so much to learn from this story. And I'm so excited to share her with you. Welcome, welcome, Madison. I thank you for being here. And I'm so excited for the listeners to hear about your journey because this is called the Wisdom from Within podcast, right? And it's all about the humanity of us, the stories within us, the life journey that led us where we are now through this lens of the body's wisdom and really helping people understand what that means and why it matters and how it can help us be successful in our life. So here's the thing about you that I love so much is that you've made so many pivots in your life, it seems. And it's and from what I read and what we talked about briefly is that initial onset of you were in finance for a long time, right? And then you made a pivot, and then you made another pivot. And what I'm curious about is how did you was that the entry point for you? Did you want to go into finance or did you do it for you did want to go into finance? Can you talk to us about that journey, like that first initial decision and what led you there?
SPEAKER_03So I was uh about 16 years old. So I was in high school, and we had my mom had a friend whose husband was very wealthy, and uh they could do a lot of things that we couldn't. And my dad said, Well, that's because I'm an accountant and he's a investment banker. And I said, Well, then I'm gonna be an investment banker. I don't want to hear no, I want to do what they're doing. So I had kind of made my mind up based on never having to hear no, wanting to do these amazing things and have that financial freedom and kind of prove my value to the world, so to say, at that time, being young. So everything where I went to college, what I studied was all based on the fact that I was going to Wall Street. So I had a very clear vision and nothing was gonna stop me. And I didn't really even know about like visualization and manifestation and all this stuff back then. It was just something that I naturally embodied. You know, everything worked out. Everything always worked out the way my dad used to call me, like, you're the lucky one, you're the lucky one. So I get to Wall Street. Yeah, I I love it. I still have friends that I worked with there to this day. Uh, it was amazing, but I realized when I was looking around that I didn't feel that people were happy or fulfilled, that they were aging rapidly. Um, and that there seemed to be a lot of like corporate BS.
SPEAKER_01What were you noticing that made you feel that way?
SPEAKER_03Um, I think it was a lot of what we call FaceTime. You know, it was more not about the work you did, but like being there at a certain time, staying till a certain time, even if there wasn't any work to be done. So it just felt like everybody was just trying to make an impression to kind of move up this ladder. Um, but then there were really fun parts. There were fun parts when you saw a trader freak out and, you know, get into a fist fight, as much as that could be scary. This was the movies you saw. This was the I was living the dream. You know what I mean? I'm like, some guy just smashed his computer on the ground. I'm like, this is awesome.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, where's you were like, this is awesome because you were like, this is passion, this is like drive. This is what were you aligning with? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It was everything I saw in the movies.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03You know, Wall Street, the boiler room. This is like I was like part of the men's locker room.
SPEAKER_00Right, right.
SPEAKER_03Tomboy. I'm like, this is amazing. I'm like, where's the cocaine and the hookers? Like, this is what we need, you know?
SPEAKER_01Yes. Oh my God, that's hilarious. Okay.
SPEAKER_03And so, you know, there was there was the adrenaline parts and there was the the good parts and and the people were great. Um, but I was also there. I got there when things were really, really good. I was a mortgage bond trader. And so, and then a year and a half about a year later, things started to unravel and we landed into the financial crisis of 2008.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03So even though I wanted to get out of that particular sector, I thought maybe I would be in finance. Um, but it was amazing to witness people losing stuff and not amazing in like not a good way, but like in a wake-up way. Like nothing is guaranteed. This can all be taken from you at any single moment. Right. People were pulling their kids out of school, they were selling their homes. Uh, people didn't know if they were going to be in trouble with the law. Nobody kind of knew what was going on. So I was like, took it as this is God's way of telling me, okay, here's your exit. You know, you don't have to explain yourself. You just boom, and that was it. And I had met this guy in my building that I was living at in New York, and he was always with a different woman. And I said to him, Are you the biggest player in New York City? And he laughed. He thought it was funny. And we immediately struck up a conversation. And he was he had had a company and wanted to start uh a company that would compete a little bit with his. Um, and he needed somebody to run it, somebody young and hungry to run it. And I was like, Oh, I get to own a company and and do my own thing. And this is exactly what I needed. So without doing any due diligence, I jumped and I didn't, yeah, I didn't realize like there was so much risk. It was, you know, the model wasn't exactly how it should work. It should have been a different model. Were they gonna allow outside investors? There were so many different working parts. What was the budget they were gonna allow me to build a team around to help build things up? And you know, my mistakes, their mistakes, eventually, like we didn't make it. But that journey led me to feeling like I hit rock bottom.
SPEAKER_01And the journey, the journey of the crash you're talking about when you were still not the Wall Street one.
SPEAKER_03It was it was the crash of the business not going where I thought it would go.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay, got it.
SPEAKER_03And like running out of running out of money.
SPEAKER_01Let's just rewind for a quick second. When you were still in Wall Street and we 2008 happens, and you're seeing all of these people like dealing with such loss. And I'm curious about, you know, because the the like your story, I think underneath there's so much that your body was telling you. And I'm curious about that piece being at the front center because the whole concept of this is to awaken people to that inner voice, to awaken people to know that that is their GPS, that is the voice of their truth, of their guidance, of this system that they should follow, because we're so focused on external expectations and guidance. What does this person want me to do? What is that? So I'm just curious about that moment because you said, you know, God told you you had this moment of like, it's time to pivot. So, what was that really? Was that this internal voice that you were like, okay, what was that crossroads like for you personally before you pivoted and started to go work for this other company?
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, if you you mentioned like how your body felt. If I yeah, you know, went back to that time, um, you know, my chest felt tight a lot. You know what I mean? You you you had anxiety naturally, but it's kind of what helped you fuel right, you know, thrive in those environments. But I gotta tell you, and we'll get back to it, just that that never stopped. And I never realized that I lived in fight or flight and kind of anxiety, and my shoulders were always tight, and even when I was sleeping, I couldn't fully relax. Right. I just thought that was normal.
SPEAKER_01Okay, this is what's so important. Yeah, yes, go ahead, speak to that. You thought that was normal because that's all I knew.
SPEAKER_03That was that was after college, it was this constant like pressure to, you know, first it's the pressure to prove yourself to the world, right? And and validate, you know, you wanted out external validation, and I think a lot of teens and people in their 20s really thrive on that, right? When they don't get that, it's a dangerous place to be. It wasn't until I was about 35 that the inner validation started kicking in, but I didn't realize I was living in a fight or flight mode and constantly stressed until I moved out of New York City, which was just recently, which was just six weeks ago.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. Okay, that's so great. So you were feeling that stress in your chest, the shoulders, you're sleeping. Did this stem from like earlier? Like where? Because you got into this, you're talking about, you know, young people looking for that external validation, trying to prove yourself. It sounds like you fell into that category a little bit. Um, so did did this fight or flight, was that earlier in your body as well? But you were just like, I'm just going because I'm focused. I want to, you know, go ahead.
SPEAKER_03When you're when your body feels a certain way, yeah, you just think it's normal. It's your new normal.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03Right. So you've got to like reset that system. But New York City, as much as it has a lot of amazing, beautiful things to offer, and I would never regret my time there.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03And I I feel so lucky that I that I had those experiences.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's not necessarily the healthiest place to live. The cost of living is very high, everything's very expensive.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_03And so you're constantly trying to survive. You know, people get raises, but then everything else raised goes up. So you never feel like you're really, really, really, really getting ahead. And, you know, so I think that people naturally just live in this without knowing it. And I didn't know. If people said, you know, people would explain me as, oh, you know, she's she's happy. I was happy. I was happy with a million knots in my back, but I felt happy. I mean, I I and that's why I always wanted to, I always wanted to escape the city on the weekends, right? I would like in the summer, if I had to spend one weekend in the city, I was sad. Because like I because I needed to come to be in nature to have that escape because it's the only time I could really feel like I could relax. And I just didn't know that. I think it's just New York, just it is just so expensive. Unless you are making 10 plus million dollars a year, I think it's really hard to feel just zen there. And I can only speak from my experience, yeah. You know, and I love New York, and and you know, I had tears the other day because I was like, God, I miss my girlfriends, right? But you know, they're all gonna come down and visit, and I can always go back.
SPEAKER_01But um what was that? I mean, that was a recent, I know we're like jumping to that, but I want to get to that because that's such a huge pivot for you. What was that final moment? Like, tell us a little bit about like the climb to that to be like, I'm actually out of here. And what was what was your body telling you? How what was that climb? And how do you feel now? Yes, I want to hear that.
SPEAKER_03I feel great, but I I think that like many New Yorkers that have fled, uh, many have gone to Florida or different places. I think just the political landscape was becoming too intense. Um, you know, the city was was collecting all this tax revenue, but couldn't balance a budget. And so naturally everything was just getting crunched, and it was just there's so many things if you start going down the rabbit hole of all the ghost apartments that sat there, why rents were so high, people purposely like not renting and keeping places empty to to bump up the demand. It was just it was just corruption through and through. And I just felt like, you know what, I don't, I don't, I want Mondami to be successful because I want everybody who gets a chance to be successful. But for me, I was just like, I just I don't see this going in a direction that I want to be involved in. I had the best years in New York City. And I think it is time where I can live more like a queen, I can get ahead financially because of the taxes, I can finally just like kind of relax, be in a place that feels more like home. And um, you know, it it didn't come without risk. I mean, I I had a great group of friends that I left, and that was the hardest part.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03But, you know, and trying to, and I luckily I have friends that are down in Nashville. Um, so it kind of put me ahead, but I still am trying to find my group of girls and find my way and slowly, you know, and surely you do that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But um, you got to take the risk. And that was that gut feeling that I never would listen to. I wouldn't listen to it in relationships, I wouldn't listen to it in jobs. And it was this intuitive feeling. I just thought it was me expecting the worst outcome. It was the anxiety kind of running the show, where a lot of it was me not listening to my gut. So when I started to, you know, rewire my mind and get out of the anxiety and depression.
SPEAKER_01How'd you do that?
SPEAKER_03Um, a lot of self-help podcast, a lot of um trainings, manifestation trainings, a lot of tracking my thoughts of you know, how was I feeling? What was this thought? Where did it come from? Yeah, yes, and to being able to kind of you know get out of that situation. Um, and I totally had a brain fart.
SPEAKER_01I know it's okay because I'm really thinking about yes, you started like doing all that work, but then what how did you trust the gut after not trusting the gut for so long?
SPEAKER_03Because the gut, the gut was always right.
SPEAKER_01How'd you know that?
SPEAKER_03Because what I expected happened, so that's why I tell people be very careful. You can manifest what you don't want. Yes, this is huge, yeah. And you can also manifest, you can just as easily manifest what you want. So I don't know if I was manifesting it or it was my intuition and my gut telling me this is not right because eventually I had the proof. So all of a sudden it was like, see, I knew I was right. So I started to listen to that and and follow it because I I had a track record, right? The track record was when this feeling comes up, your your body is telling you, you know, have a conversation or make some adjustments, right? But I refused to listen to it because I think we ignore our body and we ignore our feelings and we blow it off as something else. Yeah, we blow it off as nerves, we blow it off as overthinking, we blow it off as interpreting something differently. And instead listening to that gut. So when I had a gut feeling that I needed to get to Nashville because there's a lot of like entertainment and publishers that are down here, I decided, you know, maybe I should follow this. I can live the quality of life that I want to. It's a new adventure. Everyone that's moved down there loves it. There's no state tax, there's no city tax. Um, you know, Mondami was looking like he was gonna get in, which happened. And so I said, you know what? Go, Mondami, go. This is my chance to start fresh. Um, and I I had no idea within the first three days of getting here. I'm like, I feel different. I haven't felt stressed, nothing's changed within my work and my workload, but the stress has become like gone.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_03It's just gone. It's just weird. Like I don't feel frazzled, and I don't so I'm a big believer in you can have your goals and you can have like, but if you're not in the right environment, yeah, your goals are going to be impossible to reach. Your environment, your living situation, who you surround yourself with is a big thing. And I had the best people around me, so I had that going for me, but I didn't have the healthiest living situation I felt for me. And I didn't, you know, and so my environment was not allowing me to get ahead. And I knew if I didn't make a change, I would and just another year goes by. Not much changes, except you need a little more units of Botox, they just keep going. You know what I mean? Like it's the only thing that's changing, you know, a little more maintenance. And I knew that if I didn't make this change, you know, nothing, nothing would really change. So um I followed it, and so far, so good.
SPEAKER_01Okay, that that is incredible. That is absolutely you listened to your body, and I love that whole because so many people ask me, well, how do I know when my gut is pulling me in a direction? How do I know that it's the right direction? Because it's not always the right direction. But what you're saying is you prove to yourself, I listened to my gut, and it took me down a path that wasn't exactly, it was actually right for you for a long period until your body got louder and then your gut told you to pivot. You had proof about what happens that you can manifest this life. So be careful, right? I love, I love the whole both sides of it. And so you learned so much about the power of the gut. And so now is it like you're just like, I'm gonna listen all the time? Are you doing anything differently now with your body in terms of the relationship and how you listen to it?
SPEAKER_03Um, yeah, like sometimes I'll feel I think I'm very like like an empath. You know, I pick up on people's energy. And so, you know, if my friends are anxious or somebody I'm dating is anxious, like I can feel that. And it feels weird because I'm going, wait a second, I thought I've I've healed this, I've gotten over this. And then when you have a conversation, it's like, yeah, I've got this anxiety. And it's like, you know, even far away, it's pulling. So I think it's also you can for somebody like me, you can feel other people's anxiety as well. And when that happens, it's like, hey, just stop and have a conversation. You know, when it comes to relationships, whether it's with friends, family, um, or romantic, I think it's you can feel somebody else's anxiety when you're connected to them. And that's when you need to have a conversation. Because when you, but we want to avoid the conversation because I don't like conflict. I like to avoid conflict. I really do. But if I feel that somebody, you know, like is is might be a little bit upset with me or doesn't like how, you know, I didn't I didn't show up for something or something, like, you know, with family specifically. Um, you know, sometimes I just kind of brush it under the rug, but I'd feel it. I would feel in in my body and in my gut, like, oh, I think they're a little annoyed at me or they're, you know, and I would avoid it in the past. And then I would just say, hey, I just wanted to check in. Um, you know, I just kind of, you know, felt something was off. I just want to make sure you're okay. Like, am I doing anything that's you know upsetting you or you know, how can I show up better for you? I love that term. I think that's the term you guys. Beautiful. Yeah. Like, how do I show up better for you?
SPEAKER_01Okay, that's beautiful. Do you apply that in your business?
SPEAKER_03No, but I should.
SPEAKER_01Because I'm not looking like if you do it.
SPEAKER_03Well, in business, I feel like you do add value and you do show up and you do, you know, one thing I tell people all the time is like if you're gonna start a business based on how much money you're gonna make, you're probably gonna fail. You just are because you're chasing the wrong thing. You need to start a business based on the service and the value you're gonna bring to this industry or this world. And so, you know, being in the creative space, especially when I go and create like a concept or a book or whatever it is that I'm creating, and I'm gonna pitch it out there to a publisher or production company or network, I always go through the lens of how can I serve you? Yeah. And add value to you. It's not this is what this is gonna do for me. I take myself out of the equation. The equation is this is how this project, you know, can produce a positive ROI, can impact, you know, listeners, viewers, readers, and this is what it's gonna do to improve the world. You know what I mean? Like, I uh I think for me, my mission is like, how do I make the world a better place? And so I had a friend that got me involved in a in a business thing, and somebody said, You have so many different things. Why are you doing this? I know there's like great money in it. And I said, Because people are getting taken advantage. Of and I want to stop it. And if I can help improve their life, then it goes right into the mission of Madison Alai.
SPEAKER_01Well, I love that so much. And you are, it goes back to the question, do you apply this in your business? And you said, no, I should. You absolutely apply this in your business. You might not be sitting in front of someone saying, How can I show up for you? That's it. But you're actually, that is how you serve the world. That's the question you're asking the world internally to then go out and execute your form of leadership. Your form of leadership is all about service, showing up better, providing, helping people's lives get better. So you are actually asking that question.
SPEAKER_03Okay, good. I guess I'm just asking it like a different way. But yeah, I always tell people because I think it's I think it's so important that um when you go at it from like the value you're adding, that's that's how you make leaps and bounds, you know.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_03Um, and also for anyone who's like young listening to this, and you're, you know, buying stuff you can't afford to improve, press people you don't really care about, stop. Stop. Well, just none of that's gonna matter in the end.
SPEAKER_01None of it, right? I love that whole piece about that that question of and that mission of service. And I'm just curious at the heart of that for you, of the the heart of your service, where where do you feel that in your body? Like what is the connection to you about the kind of service that you're providing? Where does that come from deep within you?
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, I want to say heart, because like heart, heart is like love and service, and right, but I feel good and I and I I think the majority of people feel better when they're doing something for somebody else.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03You know, it's it's the whole thing, the more you give, the more you get. And you don't give to get, you just give to give, right?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03So it always comes back around. And I used to have a thing where if, you know, let's say there was like a business deal going on, and you want you want to make sure you're protected and and you, you know, or a connection, you want to make sure you're somehow included or something like that. And I used to worry about certain things like, am I gonna get cut out of this? Am I do this? That's all gone. I just live by life is happening for me, and it'll be this or something better. So now when I connect people, I don't connect people thinking what's in it for me.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_03I connect people out of the goodness of my heart because other people have done that for me. And that's how we have to keep living. It's not like, oh, because they get this opportunity or they get this connection, there's not enough for me. That is a scarcity mindset that needs to be stopped immediately. What is meant for you will be for you. And if you I always wake up every day and I was just like, you know, show me the amazing things that are gonna happen today. And, you know, if something goes a little bit awry or a little stressful, it's like, well, life's happening for me. Look at the lesson it could teach you. And you're gonna start showing you're gonna start noticing when you live in that mindset that there's less lessons to be learned. You're kind of on the other side.
SPEAKER_01I love that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, because there's not as much stressful things when you operate from a life is always happening for me. And and true, and I think I I think this is where our society went so wrong. And I I heard somebody say this on a podcast once, and I was like, oh my god, that's brilliant. We are so brainwashed and trained in society, like we are gonna live forever. Okay, we don't have mortality on the forefront of our mind, which is changes the game, right? We stress about things that aren't important, we worry about things, we uh don't express love or honesty with people, we're afraid of rejection. And when you really look at those fears, it's operating from a lens of it's gonna last forever. When you start looking at, oh my gosh, this could end at any point, your rejection fears go away, you're more honest and vulnerable with the people you love. You just the worry kind of stops. And you start looking at life like a video game, which is a beautiful thing, right? Like if things go wrong, you stop, you reset, and you go through. But you're also realizing that like nothing is forever. We come in here alone, we go out alone. So I think a lot in relationships, and I'm speaking from my past experience where I would be fearful to open up or get involved because I didn't want to get hurt because that's all I knew. I'm not married, right? I only know relationships ending where you have to be vulnerable and you have to open up. But if it's like, wow, I have six months to live or I have six years to live, I want to experience that. Right none of us know. And it's like, who cares what you look like? As long as you're just going forward and being your most authentic self, you've really got nothing to lose. Because I don't want to be one of those people on my deathbed that's like, I wish I'd done this, I wish I'd done that, I wish I, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And it takes a while to get there. It's not easy to get there to get comfortable.
SPEAKER_03No, it took me 30 37 years.
SPEAKER_01Right, exactly. So, talk to us a little bit about how that shift happened for you. What kind of practices, who were your teachers? Like what experiences did you have to create that shift for yourself?
SPEAKER_03I think I had a rock bottom moment, to be honest. I always had that famous uh line of I'll be happy when. I'll be happy when I'm famous, I'll be happy when I sell this TV show. I'll be like, so life was always in the in the there was stuff to look forward to. But how the on earth was I ever supposed to bring this to me if it was always just in the future. So the universe was saying, Oh my gosh, okay, we'll just dangle it in front of her like a carrot. Because she's exactly, you know, this is this is the frequency she's giving off and she's okay with this, you know, and it was always like living for something else, living for the future instead of like being grateful for what I had. And, you know, for me, it was like I was so financially stressed. I wasn't getting ahead. I lived in this constant scarcity and lack mindset before I even really knew what the hell that was. And I just kind of operated in that zone thinking it was normal. Um, and I became really depressed, really, really depressed. But I was afraid to come out and say I'm depressed. I didn't want to be labeled as somebody who had a depression or anxiety. Um, I was just so down that I remember my lowest moment of thinking, like, I don't even want to be alive. Like it would just, you know, and I remember thinking to myself, what would this do? Your friends, your family, God's if this isn't God's plan, this is a selfish move for you. Like, you have so many other blessings. And I thought, and it kind of woke me up to think, like, holy shit, I'm not looking around at all the good shit in my life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Of all the amazing things in my life. Yeah, I may not be a zillionaire, right? But that will come. This stuff that I have in my life, you can't buy.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03And that's when I stepped into immense gratitude. Just and that was the kind of started to change the game.
SPEAKER_01I also started to do that on your own, or did you have guidance?
SPEAKER_03Well, I started to do that on my own, and then the depression was still there, and then I realized that like sometimes our bodies just don't produce certain hormones or chemicals, and that's okay. I think accepting yourself and loving yourself and being okay, and that the help is there if you need it.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03So I went on a mild antidepressant and it it it helped me just kind of calm myself and get clear. And then um, you know, I read obviously The Secret and the uh, you know, different things by, you know, this power of the subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy. Um, and just really kind of studied that. But really, you know, a lot of people know the secret or they know these books, but they they can't apply it to their lives because they're just listening, but they're not like actually taking action and changing the identity that creates that. So I started really tracking my thoughts. And like, was this scarcity? Was this abundance? Like, where was this coming from? What was what was I feeling? What happened the day before? What was, and to really kind of get a gauge on, you know, what was what was causing this so I could then stop it. And so a big thing too is, you know, you can say like reject. I think that's a good way for things not to, you know, impress upon your subconscious mind. Like, for example, you can be around at a party or with or with a group of people, and they're talking about how shitty the economy is, how life is so expensive, how like they don't have enough money, how you know, we we all know people like this in our life, right? You don't want to absorb that energy. So, in your mind, a little trick is just you know, why they're saying this, you're listening out of respect, but you're also saying reject, reject, reject, reject, reject, reject, reject.
SPEAKER_01That's like my version of body set.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's like I as soon as I get hijacked or I'm in this moment or in a conversation. I'm like body set, hand on your heart, belly, close your eyes.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, no, exactly. It's so true.
SPEAKER_01Because we need to return to what's true. Okay, go ahead.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Um, and then you know, from there I was able to kind of just really, you know, uncomplicate life, I feel like, and make it more fun and kind of operate it like a video game. And like I could die at any moment. Like, why am I not taking these risks? Why am I not having more fun? Why do I give a shit what anyone thinks?
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03And it just kind of took over. And then that's when I realized I'm like, you know what? The times that I'm the most upset, the times that I I just need to pull the corn cob right out of my angel. Right. Because you know what I mean? It's like, what the hell got shoved up there? And um, so I wrote the book, Time to Light the Fuck Up, because I felt like that was the answer that everyone is just overcomplicating and is so uptight that if we just looked back and started laughing at what life really is, we're kind of living in like this crazy matrix, just trying to evolve our soul so we can get back home. And in the meantime, we're trying to accumulate so much shit that we can't even take it with us.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_03So it's kind of a funny game if you think about it. And it's such a blip of time, right? I always love that visual where it's like you are here, and then it zooms all the way out and you can't even see it.
SPEAKER_01Right, exactly.
SPEAKER_03And it's like, stop taking yourself so seriously. None of this is that important. Have fun, enjoy, laugh, spread value, you know, love yourself, love other people. It's not hard, right? Made it hard, right? You know, maybe our upper little handlers made it harder. So they're like, let's control these peons. And sure enough, we just fell right in line.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. And then you you wound up doing comedy. Oh, yeah, I did that too. Let's talk about that because that's this for that. Was it like lighten the fuck up and I'm gonna go be a comedian?
SPEAKER_03No, that came after. That's why the self-help book is supposed to be funny and raunchy. Um, got it came with so I started comedy after the the you know online business I left Wall Street for stopped. I said, Well, I got nothing to lose, I might as well just go after my dream. And and I was the happiest when I was making people laugh.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. When did you know? Wait, you said I'm gonna go after my dream of making people laugh and being a comedian, but when did that even start? When you were younger? Like we didn't even talk about when was the cute the comedian piece of you alive?
SPEAKER_03You're you're born with it. I used to sit around and tell people jokes all the time, and I'd hear jokes, and I had a great memory. And the problem with me though was that my jokes were never appropriate. Even when I was younger. Well, it's not a problem, it was a problem if you wanted to get booked in corporate America, but it really was. And so then I thought to myself, I used to like pick up a like as a pen, but I used to like in college, I'd pick up a hairbrush. I'd be like, All right, listen, everybody. I got a joke, and I literally was just talking to this hairbrush, and it was like a whole thing, and people would tell me funny stories, and and I was somebody that had this energy, you know, people who have the energy of attracting um negative stuff because they they have a very negative mindset, right? I was somebody who didn't attract negative things, I attracted crazy, insane, thank you, God, for this story situations.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03I don't know how it happened, but somebody, it was just one of those things where somebody's like, listen, if you're gonna have a wild night and something like so crazy and random and funny is gonna happen, it's because you're with Madison. Like she just had I for some reason, like the shit that I would attract. I mean, I got trapped at 20 years old at a nudist colony, like a nudist swingers fuck fest. Pardon me.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, are you kidding me? No, wait, what?
SPEAKER_03It's one of my favorite stories.
SPEAKER_01I love it.
SPEAKER_03Just tell us because I was in Boston and my dad said, I'll give you a very lucky that my dad did that. I'll give you $1,500 if you can find a girlfriend to go with you for spring break. I want you to experience the spring break. So I said, Okay, so but I gotta have all the food, all the flights. So I'm like, all right, I need five-star, all inclusive. I call up a travel agent in Boston. I was in school in Boston, BJ's travel. I was like, done. Call up BJs. And they're like, yes, we can get this for you. But the catch is based on like availabilities and certain um, you know, the what they're looking for at the resort, you won't know where you're going until you land in the third world country. And I'm like, sign me up. This sounds great. So my girlfriend and I, we booked this trip. All we know is that we have tickets to Montego Bay. We're going to Jamaica. Now we think we're going to Montego Bay, we're staying in Montego Bay. We get to the place, they tell us, they're like, no, you're getting on a bus, you're going to Negrill. So all these like spring breakers were all going to Montego Bay and all, and and I got on a bus, we got on a bus with a bunch of baby boomers, like our parents' age. And I'm thinking, oh shit, what did I do here? And you know, we I didn't even realize where we were. I didn't we didn't know the name of the resort. We didn't know anything until my friend was like, these are weird photos on the wall, like just weird like art things. And then our room wasn't ready. So we decided to go up to the bar to get a drink by the pool. And the pool was a little bit dead. And so we we grabbed a drink, and it wasn't until I saw a butt-naked man with a very large limp dick just swinging like a pendulum, just oh my god, just like an elephant trunk, right? And I'm thinking to my and I'd never seen it limp because I'm 20 years old, they all penises worked at that age. So my God, this was the first time, and we crack up laughing, and I'm like, oh my god, that guy's naked. And the people next to us said, Do you have any idea where you're at? And we're like, no. And they're like, This is like a nudist resort, so this is the prude side. But if you go over to the nude side, it's like a big party.
SPEAKER_00Whoa.
SPEAKER_03And we're like laughing. I'm like, this is insane. But what I learned about that trip, a, if you haven't gone down a water slide butt naked, it's fun. Do it. It's the best public douche you'll ever have. Put it on your bucket list. I'm telling you, it you drain for like 15 minutes. It's amazing. Number two, just because it isn't your lifestyle doesn't give you a right to judge.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_03We have to do what's best for us. Am I a swinger? Do I want an open relationship? Absolutely not. But am I gonna sit there and put my values and my judgments on somebody else because they choose to do that? No. These people were lovely, they were respectful, they just like to get a little crazy.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01Oh my God, what a story!
SPEAKER_03Yes, it's kind of like the article, What I Learned About Seeing A Thousand Dicks in a Week.
SPEAKER_01That is a great article, actually.
SPEAKER_03Right? Um the good news, I didn't have to touch any of them.
SPEAKER_01Oh my God, I love that. Wait, so so you did how long did you do comedy?
SPEAKER_03I did comedy for 13 years, and I still get dragged dragged on stage. Um, it was it was amazing. Some of the I got to perform with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, I've got to uh travel all over, I've got to meet the most incredible people. The people that I was friends with in comedy were not the people I would have been friends with had I stayed on Wall Street. And you really just you become humble, you appreciate what's around you, you start becoming friends with people from very different walks of life. And it is a blessing that you know, and I can't fully let comedy go because my mind just is very dirty. So I feel like people would gotta have an outlet. Well, yeah, but also I feel like people would be like, She's kind of fucked up when you they hear you're a comedian, they're like, Oh my god, she's hilarious.
SPEAKER_01Right, right. What's so interesting? I just had this like you know, circle back moment to when you started on Wall Street and you said that you noticed people, how they were living was really for the outside, for you know, showing up on time, proving themselves for external reasons. And then all these years later, you're now in this comedic world, seeing people for the truth of who they are, seeing their rawness, seeing their honesty, because you were just highlighting that. So, what a breath of humanity you've been exposed to and been able to learn from. So beautiful. So, but we have a couple minutes left. So now you are. You've told us a bit about your journey, which is so incredibly beautiful. That listening to your body, how it helps you, how it can sometimes hurt you and cause this pain in your body, but then you learn from it and you pivot, and now you are where you are in Nashville.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01Your butt, your body feels free, you said you feel less stressed and you feel calm and almost at home, even though you've left your friends, and it was a difficult decision, but even still, you followed the intuition and you've landed in the right place. How does that feel?
SPEAKER_03I just feel I just knew it feels good. I mean, I just knew there was something down here, right? Um, you know, I had been working on a secret project that's not out yet that took place, you know, of two women that were up north and ended up in the deep south. And I and no, no, no, I'm not, I don't know, think I'm in the deep south, but I'm in the south. Um, that that would eventually get me to being here. But um, there's just so many new people I've I've met here and doors that have opened up, kind of like things in entertainment that I still had kind of on the side burner that have now reignited from being here, from being in just a clear state of mind, from being, you know, entertainment is very, very big here. It feels bigger than New York. Um, it almost feels like an LA with less attitude, right? Which is nice. And just to, you know, so I primarily came down here for like a better cost of living and my career.
SPEAKER_01I love that.
SPEAKER_03And there's other things that have happened too that have been great. I think that just no matter where you're at, if you're in a positive mindset and you realize like life is so short, I'm just gonna take the risk. I'm gonna not be afraid of rejection. I'm not gonna be afraid of failure, I'm not gonna be afraid of what people think. Your life will be absolutely magical because it happened to me.
SPEAKER_01I think that's so beautiful. And I'm just gonna invite in the whole piece of body set. There is the mindset, and what you're talking about, but what we haven't named is the body set. You listened to your body, your body's in intuition, the body intelligence. It's that gut knowing. You mentioned it many, many times. This is the awareness I want people to understand and connect with and live by. It's a combination of our mindset and our body set so that we can live whole and we can live real and honest and authentic, which is what you are doing. So, how do people connect with you? Get to know you more because if I'm listening to this, I'm like, I need to know her. I need to know where she is, what is she doing? How can I be a part of her world? So give us, give us a little bit of that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok at realmadisonmalloy. Uh, you can check out my podcast next to Madison. Jen has been on there, uh, which has a lot of great topics from coaching to health to finance, all the stuff to kind of make your world a little bit better and inspire you. Uh, my books, uh, you can go on my website, madisonmalloy.com. Uh, my first book was Time to Lighten the F Up, which was kind of uh a lot of personal stories of how I dealt with anxiety and depression and just really learn to kind of take the my foot off the gas, so to say, and enjoy life more, which actually helps you reach your goals faster. Um, yeah, I think that's that's pretty much yeah. You can just just Google Madison away. I'll I'll pop up.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna put all your information in the in the show notes and everything. You're fantastic, you're a real inspiration. I I love your journey, I love the humor. I'm all about how you can.
SPEAKER_03Thank you, and thank you for my allowing me to say a couple dirty things on. There, yeah, it's all welcome here. One thing I will say it's so funny, people say, How do you describe yourself? And I always say, I've got Greenwich, Connecticut face with trailer park taste.
SPEAKER_01Ah, that's funny. You're fantastic. Thank you all for being here and listening to the Wisdom from Within podcast, which is where human stories awaken the leadership from within. Thank you so much, and I'll see you next week. If something in this conversation spoke to you, don't keep it to yourself. Send it to someone who might need that message too. You can also send me a comment because I would love to know what it is that landed for you. But most importantly, take a moment to pause and listen to what it is that resonated because that's where your real guidance system lives. The one you can trust, the one you can rely on. See you next week.